Leather

So, remember when I posted about leather lingerie and trying to fit my big boobs in a crop top? Well, the lingerie finally came and I tried it on and, as suspected, one fit and one didn't.

I mean, it's kind of hard to not fit into a harness, but the other? My boobs were leaking out the sides of the teddy. Not sexy or cute.

Just thought I'd share since I haven't posted in a while. I haven't been online lately but I'll get back into the swing of things.

Does he still want me?

I've talked on the phone for close to 8 hours over the last three days with the guy I had an affair with last year. As I mentioned before, I plan to see him in June. He said I'm free to stay with him for a week or two or a couple of different weekends--whatever works. Of course, it's hard to imagine that I could go and stay with him and not sleep with him but he's assured me that he has no intentions of that happening again. Yeah right.

When we were together the last time, he made the same promises. He said that he just wanted to be friends and that everything we'd do would be perfectly innocent. Oh, sure, we'd sleep in the same bed, of course! But there's nothing odd about that!

And then the first night, he was all over me, kissing me and telling me to undress so that he could see and touch my body. It was incredibly erotic to feel so desired and like he was telling me exactly what he wanted to do. Seriously, that time with him is one of the best sexual experiences of my life.




So naturally I'd love to relive it in June. I just want him to be honest about his expectations and maybe he is. Maybe he expects that nothing will happen. But this is coming from the man who, just a couple of months ago, said that he wasn't so sure that seeing me again was a good idea because he'd strip me naked within a minute of me being in his apartment.

And now?! Now he's saying that nothing will happen and everything is cool. I hope you can understand my confusion.

Great Rack on Flickr

I was cruising technorati, when I saw a link to this particular photo:



Great tits, right? She's kind of a butterface, but there's no denying that's a hot rack.

Anyway, I clicked around the photo album a little bit, and it looks like she's got some sugar daddy who is putting up pictures of her on Flickr. Basically, some old, gray-haired fat dude with money got himself a hot wife and he likes showing her off. Kind of funny, but there's some definite eye candy in his album so you should check it out. Aside from the huge tits, the wife isn't much to look at, but she has some hot friends who are seen pictured in bikinis and thongs and grabbing at each other's boobs.

It kind of gets me wet, I must say.

(And, to be clear, I'm not at all opposed to the idea of a sugar daddy or marrying a guy for his money or any of that. But the arrangement is so obvious from just a few photos. Poor guy!)

My Boob Twin

Google's terms of service made me agree not to post porn on this site, but I think what is and isn't porn is a little bit dicy. I mean, yes, a video of a man pounding another man's asshole while having his asshole eaten out by a big-titted redhead? I think I could safely call that porn.

But what about a topless woman? Is that porn?

Perhaps a good indicator is what you would consider safe for work: if you're okay with your coworkers seeing it over your shoulder, it's probably not porn.

Then again, one of my friends sent an email with the following picture of Bar Israeli, and he called it NSFW:



Now, I know that Sports Illustrated aims for sexy, but I don't think they want to be considered porn.

Likewise, a guy I was dating a while back sent me a video of a woman performing oral sex on the stick shift of a car. When I opened the video (at work!), I was very embarrassed. Yes, it was just a stick shift, but her head was bobbing up and down and it was meant to look like she was sucking a guy off. So, no, I don't think that's safe for work! But probably not porn either.

So, anyway, topless women can be art and perfectly acceptable, I think. Because of this, I'll have no qualms about posting a couple of pictures from a series that the guy I'm seeing sent me. He said this chick's body (not her face, just her body) reminds him of mine. And I'd have to agree. I don't think I've ever seen a naked chick who looks so much like myself. Kind of eerie, really!



These will probably get pulled for hotlinking, anyway.



Okay, mostly she resembles me because of her big knockers and pale skin. But that's good enough, isn't it? It got you pictures of breasts, so quit your complaining!

View the whole series at here.

Vomitous

I got an email from one of my best friends this morning. She said that she got so drunk the other night that she threw up on herself. I guess she thought she was just going to hiccup but then some vomit came out along with it. Oops! That sounds horribly embarrassing, poor girl.

But she's dating a really hot guy who was not there to see this happen, so I guess she's lucky. In fact, she didn't know anyone at the bar where she was so, lucky, lucky!



I remember seeing on Jerry Springer years ago this guy who got off on vomiting on his partner before they had sex. This had to be one of Springer's infamous fake guests, because I can't imagine anyone actually having this kind of fetish.

I also remember that the show's producers clearly wanted to demonstrate the guy throwing up on his partner and then grinding up against her, but I guess they decided not to use real vomit for whatever reason. Maybe it's an FCC violation.

Anyway, the cameras cut away while the guy was supposedly vomiting on the girl and then they cut back to her and she was covered in neon green slime, which I guess was supposed to look like vomit but of course it didn't. Unless the guy had been eating the ooze they spray all over people on Nickelodeon.

Fitting Huge Tits in a Crop Top

I'm such a tard.

So, I bought this outfit because the guy I'm seeing right now has a thing for leather: leather cuffs, leather bustiers, leather whips, all of it:



Unfortunately, I should have realized that the top is way too small and my tits half hang out of it. I don't care what you say--THAT is NOT sexy!

Anyway, I'm back on the website trying to find something that will work better. I think this teddy might have the same problem:



I could always get something like this harness, because there's plenty of room for my boobs then, but I figure I could make that out of a couple of belts:



So I think I'm going to order this one:



And this one:



I'll let you know how it works out.

Chelsea Korka

Oh, Lord, y'all! Haha, I'm not Southern, but it seemed like a good time to break that out.

Anyway, I'm on the rag (kind of gross, I know, but I could tell you that one of my exes seriously got off on licking, sucking, and tasting menstrual blood but I'm not going to tell you that ;)). So, yeah, surfing the crimson wave and not feeling all that sexy. My breasts are a little tender and my nipples seem puffy. Not sure what's up with that. That's womanhood, I guess.

Anyway, I thought I'd serve up someone else's hotness since I am just not bringing the hotness myself.

This is Chelsea Korka:



Isn't she cute? She reminds me of a chick I knew in high school, named Carlee Rees, for what's it's worth. And it ain't worth much, let me tell you, but if you're reading this Carlee, you've got Chelsea Korka's face.

Anyway, Chelsea is on a tv show called "The Search for the Next Doll," which is a content to find a new Pussycat Doll. The show is all right, as long as she stays, because she is definite eye candy. Yeah, I can think girls are hot and not be a lesbo, right? No?

Well, anyway, enjoy the pic while I go back to my sore breasts and bleeding vagina in the real world.

EDIT: I wasn't able to use the picture I wanted (it's of Chelsea in a white bikini...hot!), because I wasn't allowed to hotlink it, but try searching for it on your own. It's sexalicious.

I'd like some fries with that shake.

Not too long ago, I discovered the website Dimensions Magazine, which features stories of fattening up women to make them plump and sexy.



Here's an excerpt:

Kelli rose from her seat and leaned forward with her hands on her desk, her back arched to let her tummy hang down as far as possible. As she reached into the bag and pulled out a 1/2 lb. deluxe cheeseburger, Rick lifted her skirt and pulled her panties down to her knees. She took a large bite and he knelt to lick between her chubby thighs. She spread her legs and continued to eat as his own meal came into view. Her seemingly always wet pussy was just as swollen as the rest of her and looked absolutely delicious.

And:

He kept eating her, slurping her juices which were really starting to flow and licking her clit until she was just about to cum. Then he stopped, letting her catch her breath and leaving her wanting more. After a moment he began gently licking her whole pussy. Several times he brought her almost to edge of orgasm and then eased up. She was almost screaming now and she was humping her soaked pussy against his face. Again he stopped and this time let her finish her french fries.

This brand of food and sex is a little too George Costanza for my taste, but the idea of a full-figured woman being desired is very sexy, I think.

Receiving Anal

A man I recently had an affair with (and who I hope to have a continued relationship with when I see him again in the next month or two) asked me to have anal sex with him. I am in my early twenties and it would have been my first time, since I have always shied away from the concept of sticking things up my butt.

Call me crazy, but having a penis (or anything else, for that matter) inserted inside my tiny, tight rectum never sounded like that good of an idea, especially when my pussy is just as accessible and always willing.

Anyway, he wanted me to have anal sex with him and then never to have anal with anyone else, so it would be something that I'd only shared with him. A little selfish of him, really, considering that I plan to be sexually active for another several decades before succumbing to Metamucil and adult diapers.

But this was right before I was about to leave him for a long trip, and he wanted me to take some of him inside of me, with me. Sex was out of the question, since I'm married and he promised my husband we wouldn't have intercourse. I'm not sure why oral wasn't good enough, though, except that every time I put him in my mouth, he just about busted a nut because he wanted so badly to have sex. But, adulterous or not, he was an honest man who didn't want to fuck another man's wife. What respect he had for my poor cuckold husband.

Anyway, it seemed pretty ludicrous to me that he'd want me to take his spunk with me by shooting his wad in my anus. I mean, it's not like that's in there to stay. It's basically going to come leaking out, like it does from the vagina or any other orifice you choose to aim it at.

I read a Savage Love sex advice column not too long ago that advised a woman to sit on the toilet after anal sex so that the delightful mixture of semen, lube, and fecal matter (basically, Santorum) could work its way out of her asshole after her boyfriend had pounded her good. It made a lot of sense.

So, really, when this guy I was having an affair with wanted me to "take him with me" by allowing him to ejaculate in my anus, all I could really think was that I'd be shitting him out in the next 5-10 minutes. How romantic.

The conclusion? Dude didn't end up poking me in the butt, although I know he's hoping it'll happen when I see him next. He may get his chance. After all, the main reason it didn't happen was because we were too busy packing my belongings for my flight to lie in bed and fondle each other as much as we had anticipated doing so.

So I guess I'm still open to the possibility. Too bad I hear it hurts like a bitch.